A review of change-How to start thinking positively

We all have the ability to create our very own reality. In most cases, we can look at a scenario and pay attention to the good or we can think about the exact same scenario and choose to be conscious of the bad. The lens we use to view what’s happening is filtered by our thoughts. These are constructed by thoughts, feelings and beliefs that construct our ‘view of the world’ Positive thoughts create more positive circumstances. Alternatively, negative thoughts play a role in feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment. Therefore, changing our negative thoughts is essential to accomplish happiness and peace. The following are the most common negative thinking behaviours. Becoming mindful of these is really important to transforming negative thoughts into positive beliefs.

1. Would you rather be right or happy?

We can all be very stubborn. Occasionally my stubbornness has cost me-big time! It has caused me to overlook an opportunity to accept an apology or think about a different point-of-view. I was more determined to be right than to be happy. The need to be right cultivates more negative thoughts due to our unwillingness to let go of whatever the issue is at the first place. To discover some peace and happiness, we sometimes simply need to let it go- we need to move from the shadows to the sun.

2. Stay away from the temptation to over generalize.

Overgeneralization is best characterized when we believe if one bad thing happens, then all else is doomed to go poorly. Think about over generalized statements as exaggerations. For example, “I never lose weight, I always fail. My husband says 'I can never stick to a diet'. Everybody thinks I'm fat.” As you can see-The most significant overgeneralization traps are words like never, always, should or everybody. Understand that, an over generalized

statement is actually a form of a negative thought. Re-think your internal dialogue and reconsider the circumstance. Attempt to find something positive-there ALWAYS is something, that you can see as a positive if you condition your mind to look for it. For example, the over generalized statement of “You never support my diets.” Can be reframed to, “There have been times in the past when you were very supportive and I felt as though you were behind me. At this moment however, I’m experiencing you as not being enthusiastic about my dieting, to lose weight.” The second statement is much more truthful and less exaggerated. As a result, a more positive outcome can be expected.

3. Steer clear of “all-or-nothing” thinking.

When we practise “all-or-nothing” thinking we see our circumstances as either black or white without much in between. By shifting to someplace in the grey, a fresh perspective is created that helps us to appreciate that more options do exist. To enjoy an emotionally healthy life we have to have balanced emotions. Words like: always, never, impossible, terrible and perfect, are rigid and allow little room for interpretation or flexibility. Instead, whenever we live somewhere in between then we're at a stronger position to find sturdier footing which could lead to improved balance.

4. Make positive changes to your mental filter.

Persistent pessimism turns in to a habit if we are not careful. Left unattended, chronic negative thinking may start to shape the way we see the world. The glass will invariable be half-empty and negative thinking will be re-enforced. We can learn to change our mental filter by allowing positive thoughts to permeate it too. Try to see the good in every circumstance. When stuck in traffic, use it as an opportunity to talk to the kids in the back seat! If you put a Lb of weight on when dieting, use this as a great opportunity to reinforce that you must be mind-ful of your weight ever day. The adage, “When God hands you lemons; make lemonade,” is the perfect reminder to be aware of the mental filter we use and the importance to transform it from a negative one to something more positive.

5. Watch your tendency for jumping to conclusions.

When up against what might appear to be an unwelcomed situation, consider taking a deep breath; take a step back, to look at the situation in a more holistic level in order to get all of the information-then decide. Additional information is invaluable when it comes to how we react and respond. By asking, “What’s the big picture” we are in a better position to monitor our negative thoughts and keep them from trumping what is really going on. The clarity we gain empowers us to have a more rational and positive reaction.

6. Be aware of emotional reasoning.

Not many of us are consistently logical and rational regardless of the circumstance. Despite the fact that we often have got a rational response to a difficult event, we likewise have a tendency to slide into emotional reasoning when confronted with an especially challenging situation. An illustration of this emotional reasoning goes like, “I feel shame therefore I must be a bad person.” On the other hand, there are plenty of really good people who feel shame – (like all of us!). Just because we are experiencing a specific uncomfortable emotion doesn’t mean our character, our life, has gone into free fall. It simply means for that moment, in this small period of time, we feel a particular way about ourselves. When we allow ourselves to become human and provide our spirit the grace and mercy it deserves, we are in a stronger position to reframe self-limiting thoughts and you can keep them from manifesting to the point they start to define who we are.

7. Don’t should on yourself.

When we should on ourselves we're issuing negative judgments about our actions and behaviours. Consider the following statements: “I should be slimmer; I should be making more of my life, and I should be happier.” These should statements suggest our current status is not good enough. These thoughts are negative and prevent us from seeing what's positive. Should statements put our thoughts and attitudes in a box and constrain us from seeing other solutions. Remember, it’s a question of balance. We are able to be considered as a good parent without needing to be a perfect parent; we can provide for our families, financially, and still possess the desire to earn more; and we can be happy with all we have and continue to look for ways to bring more happiness into our lives.

8. Dial back from magnifying an issue.

There is perception and then there is reality. Our negative thoughts begin to churn when we confuse the two. Seeing a situation for what it really is, instead of what it really feels like can help us stay grounded. Magnifying a problem only provides the problem more energy and provides the means for that situation to get bigger than it was ever intended to be.

9. Don't take everything personally.

It might be hard to hear; however, not everything is about you! Fear, paranoia and maybe a measure of insecurity can lead us to believe the way in which other people react, or the things they say, are aimed at us. Sometimes folks are insensitive, judgmental or simply plain in a bad mood. One of my biggest challenges is when a person makes a negative comment relating to a piece of jewellery I'm making, is to keep my temper under control and never internalize the comment. What I have often heard is I’m bad or effective - not the jewellery. What I hear is usually rooted in old, negative tapes playing my head. My task, then, is always to replace these old tapes with newer, more positive ones that suggest I’m capable, well-meaning and successful no matter what someone might say.

10. Celebrate.

Celebrate the good things when they happen. Don’t simply dismiss them or minimize them.
There is no question some days have got a few setbacks, a couple of obstacles and sometimes pain. There are also some days when we feel like someone has emptied our hearts of the passion and strength we need for life. So, on the days we're blessed and have positive things happen, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem, allow yourself the time to enjoy them and then be filled back up by them.

Like attracts like. Positive thoughts and happiness create more of the same.
Confidence is a tool you can use in your everyday life to do all kinds of cool stuff, not least to stop second-guessing yourself, manage your fears and become able to do more of the things that really matter to you.